Gwen Pickering

(Gwen Pickering is open to receiving new directees at this time.)

It seems I am always being led to steps just a little beyond my sight.  I get there and a whole world opens up that I never knew existed.

When my only child left for college and my dad died the next month, I felt totally lost but I knew I was being called to steps beyond my usual church practice.  God wanted me to come away and be silent, to be close, to listen.  It seemed odd to an extrovert like me, but the call to silence was clear and persistent.

I accepted that call and went on a week-long silent retreat – and it was amazing and I couldn’t get enough, so the next month I went on a 30-day silent retreat.  And in the 12 years after those experiences, I continued to spend time alone with God every month at various retreat centers.

I learned many things during those retreats, so many new ways of praying: listening to God in scripture, dialoguing with Jesus, and praying in ways that have no words at all.

I also learned about things I need to let go of like resentment, worry and control – things I need to let go of in order to be my true self. I continue to learn to do this more deeply every day. Those retreat experiences have changed my life in ways that I would never have expected.

One thing I never would have imagined was when God called me to the ministry of spiritual direction. It took me a while to truly listen.

I had been leading marriage retreats with my husband since 2002.  I loved this ministry and thought it would be my life’s work.

God had different plans and even sent many spiritual directors to tell me that I should be a spiritual director. I did not listen. I would say, “I already have a master’s in counseling. I have ADHD and don’t like to sit down – and I love leading retreats.”

Then, I felt God leading me toward offering what I had experienced in my time of listening to God to other people.

A sister at the Benedictine Center who was also a spiritual director recommended I attend  the Spiritual Direction Preparation Program through Franciscan Spirituality Center in LaCross.

It turns out, all of my assumptions about not liking to do spiritual direction were totally wrong.  I absolutely LOVE being a spiritual director.  Listening from deep within my heart to that which is deep in the heart of the people I have the honor of sitting with brings me joy beyond words.

I began by listening to God and now I listen to people and I still hear God.